Pass the Turkey and Pass the Baton

 Today is the day after Thanksgiving 2023.  I felt sorry for myself as everyone in the family had another place to go for Thanksgiving dinner.  My oldest daughter, who is a family doctor in Columbus, was busy taking call over the Thanksgiving holiday and unable to join us.  I talk to her every day and have done so for going on the three years of her residency program. It helps me make sure for myself, and maybe for her, that she is okay and gets home safely as she drives from various day or night shifts to get to her apartment where she then crashes to sleep and barely eats.  Some of my other kids have in-laws to share the holidays with and that is lovely. I remember needing to do that with my in-laws years ago when they were alive.

I try to contact family and friends and let them know they always have a place to come to if they need for the holidays, actually any holiday. Many of them had plans with their own families and so began my pity party.  Until earlier in the week when I got calls from family who said their plans changed and they were coming.  It was lovely and exhausting!  I got to make gravy with my oldest brother like we used to and argue over recipes that I wanted to try for the first time but did not have proper pans or know the actual recipe.  My husband got to carve a big turkey like we did in the past when the kids were young and my deceased brother who passed away on Thanksgiving several years ago, as well as parents and other relatives, were still alive.  

But what is special about this and future holidays are my grandchildren and their cousins.  This next  generation is an inspiration.  We had kids playing piano and blocks and exploring the house.  We had macaroni and cheese and fruit available as the menu item of choice for them.  We made brownies and ate pumpkin pie with whipped cream out of a can. We also had disappointed faces all around when mom and dad said it was time to go home.  Everyone took home plenty of the extra food that was served and after running the dishwasher about five times that day I sat down and crashed myself from exhaustion.  I admit I am not twenty anymore but I look forward to the future and another houseful of noisy children big and small.

While you are Busy Saving the World...Don't Forget to Save Time for You

 I am watching the generation change..literally.  My closest friends from synagogue, family or neighbors, whom I loved to share stories about the "good ole days" with, are passing away with regularity.  It makes me so sad that I find myself weeping over it.  After my brother passed away some years ago I promised myself I would not attend any more funerals.  It hurt too much.  Then this thing called Zoom came along during the pandemic where you could listen to a funeral without actually attending and for now this seems to be a suitable alternative.  I try to voluneer for projects that bring me joy.  I am involved in putting together a cookbook for our synagogue that has been active for going on 160 years in 2026.  This congregation has had recipe files from the 1950's in metal boxes for sale and xerox copies of congregant recipes that were passed out and even recipes included in Tribute books of honories.  But never a real collected and professionally printed cookbook.  I decided it was time.  Obviously, I was not in charge of the cookbook, but, after going through several cookbook meetings and a Covid Pandemic, who knew that was coming, we are "back on the path", as I have written about previously, and hopefully by November we will go to print.  

Another area of concern is the heat, fires and earthquakes that occur.  Seriously, you cannot turn on the news and not hear about another tragedy occuring in a place that I have truly enjoyed visiting in the past.  Recently, we attended a family wedding on the east coast and the temperature was in the mid 90's and the humidity was intolerable.  It made the temperature feel like it was in the low 100's.  You couldn't safely be in this weather outside for too long without needing water and potentially passing out from heat exposure. Yet people work ouside, the homeless live on the streets, and yes, communities have cooling shelters, but are they used and will this ultimately turn into a normal way of life?  Where I live in the snow belt, one day we had two feet of snow and 80 degrees in the same day!  It was so weird.  Five years ago for my birthday I was treated to a trip to Maui, in Hawaii.  We had been there with the kids and my mother about 15 years before and had a great time.  Last week in the news Lahaina, the capital city for native Hawaiians, and one of our favorite places to visit, broke out in flames.  Many people died and lost their homes.  It is a tragedy.  I wanted to visit Morocco, as my friend recently went, and this city just experienced a massive earthquake.  

Don't misunderstand, I sympathize with the tragedy that befell these areas of the world and donate when I can to help. But one of the points of this mention is you have to take care of yourself first in order to be able to help others no matter what the trouble.  And there will always be troubles somewhere of all kinds. So how do you help yourself?  Get enough rest, take a day off, if you are able, read a book or watch a silly show on television. Listen to music, meditate when you can, take a walk, do a session of yoga, tai chi or swim.  As I have said before try to eat healthy.  More fruits and vegetables, proteins and healthy carbohydrates when you have the opportunity.  My favorite is to make a to-do list or write in a journal which is basically what I am doing now.  Happy New Year Rosh Hashanah 5784 L'Shanah Tovah! 

Endemic Wins! The Ups and Downs of a Long 2022

 I love reading my old blog posts.  I decided I am actually a great storyteller. That makes sense to me since I love listening to stories.  Particularly historic tales from family members.  It doesn't even have to be from my family.  Everyone has an interesting story or memory to tell.  In fact, since it is the holiday season and people have tried to get back together this would be a great time to take out your phone and record some family stories of the friends and family  when you visit.  My best story is about a beloved relative who was also interested in family archives and took out a tape recorder (kids you are going to have to Google that), in 1979, and recorded the stories from my husband's grandfather and great aunt. It was so fascinating to learn about life in the early 1900's and stories about WW1. The grandfather interviewed dies shortly after the history taking and if the memories had not been preserved, we would have never known, in their own words, what life was like for that branch of the family coming to America.  Recently, this year, the uncle who recorded the history also passed away.  We are all very sad.  He was a wonderful relative to know and talk to as he had many stories to share, as well.

 Unfortunately 2022 was a year of loss for many.  I must have counted at least a half dozen friends who lost parents or other family members this year.  Our head Rabbi from the synagogue in the 1990's also passed away.  He was our religious leader when our family was young. It is hard to believe the 1990's was thirty years ago.  When did this time pass?  Am I ready to step into the role my parents and grandparents took on with such joy and grace?  I guess so as my grandchildren have noticed I wear my glasses on my head like a headband and copy that and tell me they are "Nana".  Pretty funny and smart.  So maybe I should just relax and be in the moment.

As I mentioned in the title the Covid Pandemic turned into an Endemic which means that we are grateful as we do have vaccines for Covid and some of its variants. But the flu came back with a surge as well as a new virus called RSV, which is another variation of the cold virus.  We hear scientists are working on a vaccine for this for 2023, but we will see.  Unfortunately, all three viruses have returned at the same time in various parts of the country. We have a political divide as well as a "vaccine is or not necessary" divide where parts of this country do not believe in vaccines, and thus the viruses can't be contained. Coincidently, this is the same part of the country that still believe the election "was rigged" i.e. Past President Trump voters. 

 In a previous post I mention there were citizens who stormed the Capital on January 6th, 2021. Last week the Final Report from the House Select committee released an 800 page report that provided testamony from those who were informed of what was going on that day. The result of the report referred to the Justice Department four criminal charges to Past President Trump meaning he is criminally liable for his actions that day.  It was also recommended that he be barred from ever running for office again.  I told you this will become something taught in schools and universities forever now.

Technically, it is January 2023 when I post this blog and currently the House of Representitives cannot agree on a new Speaker.  The Republicans gained a small majority and thus can't agree on a leader.  Our country has not dealt with this problem since 1923.  I only mention this because it is historic and my grandchildren will be learning this in school, too.  This time of year is when everyone has suggestions for staying healthy.  Eating more fruits and vegetables, exercising thirty minutes per day if possible and trying to reduce the stress in your life are still great ways to stay healthy so we can enjoy this new year!

Advice From the Ladies Locker Room and Rosh Hashanah Hebrew Year 5783

 I was on my way to the indoor pool the other day for my usual swim session of lap swimming which I try to do a few times per week.  I like to brag to people that I have been swimming since I was five years old in 1963 when my mother made sure I received swimming lessons at Landerhaven Swim Club.  I love swimming just for the love of being in the water.   I was born in late February which makes me a Pisces and that is the astrological sign for that time of year.  I never put two and two together, meaning being a Pisces and my love of swimming, until a friend who is into astrology pointed this out to me.  

So the other day I was in the locker room and I heard a lady complain about how she looked in a bathing suit as she was analyzing herself in a mirror.  I walked by her and mentioned to her that I thought she looked perfect and then went on my way. I think she smiled.  I guess I just want people to be happy with the life they have in the moment.  Too many sad and frustrating things are happening in this world that we really have no control over.  We have our WW2 generation almost gone and I appreciate those that are still here. I enjoy a chance to listen to their stories.  My generation and especially younger generations are struggling to balance the role technology plays in their lives.  I truly thought that when internet technology first came out it would be a blessing.  But as days go by and new warnings of security and privacy invasions come to light at the local, national and even at the international level, I begin to wonder if technology and the internet is not a curse.

So how did I get from my joy of swimming to complaining ladies in a locker room to world security scares?  I am just thinking about this time in my life as we enter the Jewish New Year 5783.  Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are the beginning of the New Year in the Jewish calendar.  Our family had a full family gathering of twenty five guests which has not hapened in two years since the Covid Pandemic.  Everyone was so happy to be together and, yes, we went crazy on the holiday festival dishes.  There must have been five apple themed desserts alone not to mention healthy kugels meaning carrots and cauliflower replacing potatoes, yuck!, I mean yum!  Anyway I just want to remind myself that it is the blessings we have everyday that should be noticed and no technology in the world replaces the love we have for our friends and families as we share the time together on this earth. L'Shanah Tovah!

The Power of Grandma and The Road to Forgiveness

 This Passover season was upended by news of a trusted friend and community leader who took a stumble down the path and shocked everyone who knew him.  After a few days of disbelief I came to the conclusion that failure is a part of success and that it too must be embraced if we are to move forward on the path to a seat a God's table.

This metaphor of "a seat at God's table" was something I was taught when I was getting my Master 's degree in Judaic Studies over a decade ago.  If you can, visualize walking down a path, and then think about each step you take to move forward. Then add in doing a daily mitzvah (or a good deed) for each step. This then is the idea that each step or moment, will bring you closer to being a good person.  There are people in this world who have never had a kind word said to them or good deed done for them all day or in their entire lives.  That random "thank you" or "excuse me" or "have a nice day" that you remember to say to someone at the grocery store check out or any other place you go might just make someone's day better.  You will also feel better because you took the time out of your busy day to think of someone besides yourself.

I came up with idea of the "power of grandma" because as I am learning my new role of grandma and telling my grandson and granddaughter every time how much I love them and they love me, too, it brings back the memories I had with my grandparents.  When I was a young mother my father had already passed away and so he never met my children.  My mother moved in with us and she helped me raise my girls and I am sure there many days my mother felt that she was raising my kids for me.

 I never appreciated enough how she was there for the kids and disciplining them and feeding them and playing games, driving them places, etc.  It was hard enough work when she was the parent in her thirties through fifties working multiple jobs and leaving me home alone. But to "parent again" in her sixties and seventies.  My mom made it work by being the "fun grandma" and getting involved in the kids lives and welcoming their friends into our home.  That was her power!  She was someone you wanted to be with and include in your fun.  She laughed at your jokes and sang songs and smiled.

When she disciplined you for acting out you did not want to disappoint her and so the two of you came to find common ground.  Respect for elders, manners and saying please and thank you are all things that are taught.  As adults you can easily tell who has been raised in a loving way with manners and respect and who has not.  All of this begins with the first step on the path so the next time you see a "grandma" say thank you!

Pandemic to Endemic to Normal?

 Habits and routines, we have been told, are very comforting and relaxing to the mind.  Everyday I make my bed in the morning and brush my teeth.  At night I brush and floss my teeth among other routines. This calms me down when my twice a year dental cleaning report comes out healthy.  It is a positive reinforcement of my routine choices. The Covid pandemic has not really been affected in this case.   Although it seemed scary to leave the house and go to the dentist, when our daily or yearly routines were impacted.  Many of us stayed away from dentists or doctor appointments, when you were not sure about the vaccine status of the people you might find in a small space, like a waiting room.

 It seems silly but with the rise of the ease of transmissibility of the Coronavirus Omicron Variant coming to the United States in the late fall and the relaxation of our lifestyle choices gone again, we are not only more fearful but, in fact, mad and angry at the turn of situation in our daily lives.  The "look back" photos on my phone, rather than bring me joy of memory of a fun trip or event with family and friends, now bring me sadness and question whether those glorious moments will ever happen again.   I know they will eventually.  The question to ask myself is how habit and routine will save me.

As a Registered Dietitian, I hear how people have gained weight as gyms and fitness centers have closed along with an increase in stress, anxiety and depression. This has been met with an increase in comfort eating and baking more than we ever have done. With the likelihood that this pandemic may convert to an endemic, meaning the infections will always lay at a baseline level in society, and never go completely away, what is the plan to get back to a healthy lifestyle? Thus, our habits and routines, those daily activities that keep us feeling normal and healthy become even more important than ever. A least and until we feel more comfortable getting back to the gym and the weather warms up so we can be outside.

As I usually recommend, try to fit Yoga and Meditation into your routine and try to exercise 150 minutes per week.  Eat as healthy as you can and try to limit the extra sweets. Get some sleep and perhaps lay off the information on the internet about things that upset you. This pandemic world we live in today will eventually settle down and I hope life will once again become so normal, it is boring.  I may never again take for granted arranging for a flight to somewhere exotic to see another part of the world.  But I will not be afraid to try when the world looks like it is ready for guests.  

 Good Luck and Taking It One Day at a Time 

So today is June 29th, 2021 and it is a very hot summer and I find myself sitting in a car dealership service center, waiting with other customers, for my car repair.  My husband and I now lease cars rather than buy them.  We felt that the lease cars under warranty replace the hundreds of dollars we were spending on service and car parts on cars we owned. We may have been wrong, but I am sure luck has something to do with this.  I never had this particular problem with my other leased vehicles.  

 As I wait and try to relax, I think about the history archives I have been working on at the synagogue as a volunteer, reading articles from the late 1880's through today and the celebrations over the years.  What we take for granted today were things of celebration back in those days.  Our congregation went from no building and using someone's home for prayer and celebration, to raising money to build a small building, then eventually one bigger and then the biggest.  Our Sisterhood membership began with men as leaders, 125 years ago, sewing burial shrouds for the Jewish funeral homes in town.  Women took over after the first year or so and we have been going strong ever since, although we stopped sewing shrouds about a hundred years ago.

 Longevity is a secret and no one really has the answer of how to live a long life.  A relative who is turning ninety-nine years and seems perfectly healthy overall, has no reason or trick they used to live this nice long life.  They attribute it to luck.  I should add that religion was important to their lifestyle, although not necessarily overly religious, just regular. They did not have any particular weight issues although siblings did.  The same with illness or cancer although it was in the family.  When asked "What is your secret?", which they get asked a lot, the answer is always "luck".  

Luck is about being ready, having a positive attitude and deciding the life you choose belongs to you. Others have put it in their own terms and you can read about it elsewhere but this may not be so easy for everyone.  As we slowly ease out of this pandemic, personal anxiety is at an all time high.  Fear of crowds and unwillingness to be around others, going back to normal activity pre-pandemic, or even travel and see relatives, has been vastly diminished. 

On the other hand, this time can be viewed as an opportunity to make changes.  This is where luck comes in.  We can look at this time and feel sad and depressed or we can look at at it and view it as an opportunity for change.  Things to do might be to make a new habit from something you used to do regularly. Try to improve your diet and overall health.  

Get some regular sleep perhaps a goal of 6-7 hours per night.  Begin an exercise program which includes strength training to build muscles that went soft when we were stuck in our homes.  Try meditation, yoga or tai chai to calm the mind and create that positive outlook that will channel your good luck in the future. Try one or all and the course of your luck will change.

 Finally, the young man said my car is ready...I happened to ask him as he walked by...that was good luck!